Atemu and Bakura's Drunken Adventures
by Kuro
Summary: Pharaoh Atemu feels bored, and is informed by Mahaado and Mana that Bakura is drunkenly singing outside! Atemu goes to see what's so bad about this. Poor Atemu, what have you gotten yourself into?
1. Amuse me!

**In Collaboration with:** Yugi-Obsessed! Y-O-chan comes up with some great ideas nn   
  
**Warning:** If you don't know about the whole Memory thing, you might be a bit confused... but don't worry, it might still be funny.   
  
**Disclaimer:** I nor Yugi-Obsessed own Yu-Gi-Oh. But I'm sure Y-O-chan wants to own it... This spawned from one of our "Lunch Time Talks". Oo best not to ask.   
  
Erm... there's quite a bit of swearing in this chapter... BUT SETO CENSORS HIMSELF!! Everyone give Seto a round of applause!!   
  
**Atemu and Bakura's Drunken Adventures   
  
Chapter 01: Amuse Me!**   
  
It was a supposedly regular night in the land we call Ancient Egypt. Pharaoh Atemu was lounging, very bored, on his throne—what else was new?   
  
"Damn it Seto! I'm bored, find someone to amuse me!" Atemu commanded like a five year old, the whiney-ness and all.   
  
"Ah, stuff it," Seto shot back at the pharaoh and continued playing tea party with the millennium scale and rod, Karim playing along. Atemu stared long and hard at the duo.   
  
"What..." he began, "the fuck?" he shook his head and sat in contemplation—how come that damned tomb robber was never around when he was needed most?! Beating the crap out of Bakura was always amusing. Just at that moment, Mahaado and Mana came running in.   
  
"PHARAOH!!!" Mahaado yelled.   
  
"Pharaoh!!" Mana called.   
  
"You two are such fook heads," Seto rolled his eyes. Mana and Mahaado gave him a bewildered look, then shook their heads and continued life as if all was well.   
  
"What is it you two?!" Atemu asked excitedly.   
  
"Well pharaoh!" Mana began.   
  
"That blasted tomb robber is running through the streets—drunk!! He's singing... CRAZY-LIKE!!" Mahaado flailed. Quite a sight...   
  
"And this is bad...?" Atemu asked. Mana and Mahaado nodded vigorously. "Erm... kay... I'll go see him..." And so it was.   
  
"Who is that narrating anyways?" Seto asked nonchalant.   
  
"Who cares?" Karim asked.   
  
"Point taken," Seto nodded.   
  
Atemu rode _valiantly_ and _bravely_ through the streets of his city. Within barely two minutes of ridding, Atemu came across a very drunk Bakura. Atemu raised his eyebrow and hopped off the horse.   
  
"'Allo fair pharaoh of the desert-y thing we live in," Bakura slurred. Atemu looked slightly frightened.   
  
"You moronic tomb robber, what did you do this time?!" Atemu demanded. Bakura gave a hiccup-y laugh and slung his arm around Atemu's shoulder, while pointing into the distance with the other hand which happened to be holding a liquor bottle.   
  
"Only the usual for a tomb robber who has gone absolutely nuts Batty, only the usual," Bakura said solemnly—if solemnly is hiccupping every other word and drawling.   
  
"Erm, right," Atemu removed Bakura's arm from around him. Bakura looked insulted.   
  
"Look you jackass, you listen to me, and you listen to me straight you hear?!" Bakura said as threateningly as a drunken tomb robber can be, grabbing the front of Atemu's robes in a shaky grip and coming within an inch of the pharaoh's face. "Nobody touches the King of Thieves, _especially_ evil little bastard pharaohs like yourself!" Bakura shouted. Atemu sweat dropped.   
  
"You touched me first!" Atemu shouted back, slapping Bakura's hand away. Bakura sneered.   
  
"You utter ass I'll—I'll—what were we saying?" Bakura asked stupidly, with the damned evilest yet cutest look ever.   
  
"I think you've had too much to drink," Atemu tried to remove the bottle from the tomb robbers grip, but Bakura hissed and pawed at him.   
  
"Mine, not yours," suddenly an evil drunken glint hit his eye. "But I'll share if you ask... nicely..."   
  
"What?! Why would I--?"   
  
"Because you're a bored ass who enjoys _trying_ to kick my ass but can't cause you're a loser!!" Bakura sang.   
  
"What?!?! Why I--- FINE!! Give me some of that crap!" Atemu shouted and grabbed the bottle from Bakura. Bakura bit his tongue and gave a big huge evil smirk.   
  
"Let the festivities begin," Bakura laughed evilly. The pharaoh gave him a stupid look.   
  
"What?"   
  
oo You know, I'd pay to see Seto and Karim having a tea party with a pink table and all... Ah, but that's just me. 


	2. The Good Stuff

**Note**: Yugi-chan (Yugi-Obsessed, the co-author) gave 95 of the ideas for this chapter. (: The last part where they go "OH! BURN" is me, and the beginning is me... but once you get to the guard, it's all Mae-chan! and after Isis comes in, it's not anymore. o YAY Mae-chan! 

**Disclaimer:** Hoshiznitz! Do I look like I own? Because if I do, I wanna know when I got a gender change.

* * *

**Chapter 2: The Good Stuff.**

* * *

It had been an hour since the pharaoh had started drinking with his buddy Bakura! But now they were out of alcohol. 

"We need more... whatever the fuck this stuff is," Atemu stated dumbly, holding the bottle up to eye level. 

"Drinky... goddy... stuff!" Bakura stated, in an attempt to be smart. 

"Let's go to that place! That... I live in... Where I... do... stuff..." Atemu trailed off, not knowing exactly what he was talking about, but knew it was right. Bakura shrugged and the two skipped off, meaning they tipsily tripped over everything in an attempt to walk to get to the palace. I mean... place that the pharaoh lives and does stuff. 

They reached the front gate and stared up at it in wonder. A guard came over, and inspected the two drunks curiously. 

"Pharaoh Atemu? Are you drunk..?" the guard asked his eyes almost wide with wonder. He had never seen a drunken pharaoh before. 

"No... Of course not. I'm not even of age!" Atemu stated, as if out raged, hiccupping every once in a while. 

"Does it matter you're the... the... thing of... the... thing," Bakura took on a confused look. It appears as though thinking and alcohol are not good things to mix when with Bakura. 

"That's right!" Atemu nearly shouted. The guard 'shh'ed him. "I'm the... the... P-.. P-..." 

"Parle?" Bakura added hopefully. Atemu snapped his fingers together. 

"Yes! The Parle!" Atemu pointed at the guard. "Announce that to everyone... NOW!" 

"... uh sure, whatever pharaoh..." the Guard mumbled, edging away from them. 

"HE'S THE PARLE DAMNIT!" Bakura shouted, raising his fists of anger! FEAR HIS FISTS OF ANGER! 

"Right... sure," the guard said, fearing Bakura's fists of anger. Like I said to. 

The two spent a few more minutes arguing with the guard before remembering they wanted more "drinks of the gods" so they left the god and continued on their merry way! Merry _drunken_ way! 

"Wow, this place is big," Atemu stated in awe. 

"Yeah... yeah it is," Bakura whispered in fright. 

"What are you doing?" Akunadin asked, coming from around the corner. The two screamed in positively negative fright. They were kinda like positively charged electrons. "Uh, right..." 

"We're looking for the good stuff," Atemu stated, holding up the empty bottle of alcohol to Akunadin. Which was basically shoving it in his face and being all like _'bring me gooood stuff!'_

"I'll... go get that for you then," Akunadin said shiftily, looking for any excuse to run from the room—erm... hall and away from the pharaoh and the thief king. So he ran. 

"THAT'S RIGHT! BRING IT FASTER!" Bakura shouted. This sounded REAL dirty to most who passed. 

Perverts got nose bleeds. 

The two got bored with standing around, so they headed towards to the throne room. Although they didn't realize it, but they did anyways. 

"So uh... what should we do while we wait?" Atemu asked casually as physically possible for him at this moment. 

Bakura blinked, then an orange light bulb flashed about his head. A wide smirk spread across his face. 

"I know what we can do!" Bakura walked over to the corner of the room and pulled out a piano. 

"What are you doing?" our beloved Parle asked. Bakura sat down and began to play... VANESSA CARLTON STYLE! "Gasp!" said the Parle. "How'd you know!" Bakura continued playing but turned around to give Atemu a weird look—who had started singing _A thousand Miles_. Bakura cringed but continued playing. 

A few minutes (and by minutes I mean seconds) into the song, Seto and Mahaado burst into the room. 

"GASP!" They said dramatically. "How'd you know!" and joined our fair, horribly singing, Atemu in singing the now horribly butchered song. 

"Ahk... my EARS!" Bakura sobbed, boxing his ears as they continued their song. Being the dramatic man Bakura is, he magically put some ketchup to ooze from his hands. "Arg! They bleed!" he whined, forgetting it was ketchup. 

"GASP!" said the horrid singers. "WE MUST CALL ISIS!" 

"GET OVER HERE WOMAN!" Seto shouted. Isis sweat dropped. 

"I'm kinda standing right beside you..." Isis rubbed her ear. 

"ISIS! My secret yet not so secret lover, please stop Bakura's ears from bleeding as they are scaring me!" Mahaado exclaimed, hugging Isis. Isis however, looked rather disgusted. 

"Yo, let go of me, who said you could _touch_ me?" she frowned. Mahaado looked horrified. 

"But, but... ISIS!" Mahaado exclaimed. 

"Shut up and Bakura stop being so damned dramatic," Isis demanded. 

"Fine," Bakura growled, wiping his hands on the piano. "No need to be so PMS-y!" 

"Oh! BURN!" Atemu said, pointing at Isis. 

"At least I have a reason to be," Isis twitched. 

"OH BURN!" Atemu shouted again. Isis smacked him. 

"WOULD YOU STOP THAT!" 

"OH BURN!" Seto laughed. 

"Singe..." Mahaado said, much like a... stoner!

* * *

And I leave it there. Why? Because I'm cruel (: Sorry it took so long to be all with the updates and stuff. O: But I was like "llllazzzzzyyyy" 

**REVIWER RESPONSE!** (OH MY GODDESS ITS AN ALLITERIATION!) 

**Miyabi-kkg** – O: I CONTINUED! 

**Somebody:** I'm glad you asked! Well, it all started when Mae-chan and I were like "Wouldn't it be funny if Atemu and Bakura got drunk!" and it continued on like that. Thanks for your question! 

**Chibi Blue Angel:** Hope I didn't make you cry OO 

**Cwthewolf:** Weird, random and strangely hilarious is my specialty. Mae-chan just adds fuel to the fire O: Bad Mae-chan! 

**Dark Artemis:** xD YES! I think everyone would pay it see it... in fact... I will draw that, but would you pay me? Or would you have to see it yourself? 

**LadyMahaado:** I'm glad you can imagine that—I think most people can. It should be common in the manga, but you know it's not. SO WE MUST CREATE OUR OWN IMAGES! THE FANS WILL RULE ALL! 

**Little Maiden:** I'm so glad that it got you out of your depressing mood. That seriously makes me happier than you can believe. Making people happy is something I love to do (: Of course there's more! I have about 5 pages of other things to put in! 

**Kiona Kina:** I have spare guts in my fridge if you need one... 

**Silverwolf-Bakura13:** xD Hoshiznitz! I'm a whack little bugger eh? Bloody hell ((you'd never know I'm Canadian)) I've never been called that. But a saint is something I have been called (: It certainly would be a sight to see. What an even stranger sight ((possible even just as funny)) is Mae-chan and I acting out the parts. Ah... spawns of our imaginations... 

A'ight, I gotta go write more of my other story now... 


End file.
